Enough
by anamoly
Summary: Aaron reached out his hand, desperately searching for a piece of the puzzle...anything that would help him understand what was happening.
1. Chapter 1

WARNING: This story was written after reading spoilers and contains things that will happen in future episodes.

* * *

Aaron reached out his hand, desperately searching for a piece of the puzzle...anything that would help him understand what was happening. His hand stopped, his heart beating loudly in his chest. He curled his fingers, feeling the curls of his boyfriend tangle around them.

"Jackson?" he whispered, barely audible.

He could feel a lump forming in his throat and the stinging burn of tears as they threatened to fall from his eyes.

"Jackson?" he called louder.

He slid his hand from the tangled mess of curls to cup his lover's cheek. He shifted, trying to roll onto his side. His movement stopped abruptly by something tight across his chest. He let out a yell of pain and surprise. He was belted in, they were in the van. His eyes scanned the darkness to his right; he could make out the outline of Jackson's lifeless frame.

Confusion and panic set it. The pain in his shoulder was now excruciating. He couldn't think about that now, he had to get free...he had to help Jackson.

"Hello?" he heard someone call from a distance, a man's voice. Finally a glimmer of hope! He went to answer but the words stuck in his throat.

"An ambulance is on the way," the voice yelled.

It was too much now. He felt his eye betray him. They were closing despite his efforts to will them open. Darkness surrounded him.

* * *

Paddy sat in silence, staring absently at Aaron lying in his hospital bed. His mind wandered back to a few months earlier, the last time he was here. Aaron was hooked up to so many machines, fighting for his life. Now he was here again. He felt the tears flowing steadily down his cheeks, wiping them away instantly. He had to be strong; Aaron needed him to be strong.

"Mr. Kirk?" The voice pulled him from his thoughts. He looked up to see a police officer standing inside the doorway. He could feel the anger boil inside him. _"How dare him!" _he thought. He calmed himself as he looked at the officer.

"He's not awake," his voice was shaky, "He can't answer any questions right now."

"That's alright. Can I ask you some questions?"

"S'pose," he answered, letting out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding.

"I'm Officer Whitleigh. I just need to gather some information on the victim."

"Aaron," Paddy interjected, the anger coursing through his veins once more.

"Of course, I'm sorry."

There was a slight pause; the officer was looking between Aaron and Paddy, a small frown on his face.

"Could you tell me the victims name and age please?"

"Aaron Livesy. He's...he's 18." The tears were welling in his eyes again.

"And your relationship with him?"

Paddy scoffed, confused as to how that will help the case.

"He lives with me. I'm an adopted dad of sorts." He smiled through gritted teeth.

"And his relationship with the other man?"

"They're...well, he's..." he stopped, not sure what to say.

"My boyfriend," came Aaron's voice, weak and shallow.

"Sorry?" the officer asked.

"He's my boyfriend," Aaron said louder, although still weak.

"Aaron! You're awake! I should get the nurse," he turned looking at the officer, silently pleading with him to go away. He looked back to Aaron, a smile overtaking his face and tears spilling onto his cheeks.

"I'm fine Paddy. Where's Jackson?"

"He's in the other room with the doctor."

"Ahem," Officer Whitleigh was trying to regain focus, "Could you tell me what happened tonight?"

"I need to see Jackson. Is he hurt?" he turned to look at Paddy, panic and worry consuming him. Paddy looked away not able to hold the young man's stare.

"I'll go see about him, won't be a tic." Paddy turned to leave, stopping in front of the officer. "He's not in any shape to talk."

"The sooner we find out what happened tonight the sooner we can start the investigation," he smiled reassuringly at Paddy.

"Mr. Livesy, can you tell me what happened?" Officer Whitleigh was looking at Aaron, moving closer to the bed.

Aaron stared at him as his mind wandered back to a few hours before.


	2. Chapter 2

Jackson and Aaron stepped out into the cool night air, their eyes adjusting to the harsh lights of the city centre.

"Wanna move on to the pub down the street," Jackson asked, pulling his leather coat tight around him.

"Could do," Aaron answered, holding back, allowing Jackson to catch up. He froze suddenly, jaw clenched. His hands formed into fists, knuckles white. Red hot anger washed over him.

"Aaron," Jackson yelled, snapping his fingers in front of Aarons face. "What's with you?"

"Him!" Aaron yelled, nodding to a man across the street. He took a step towards the road, his anger focused on the man.

"Don't, please." Jackson had taken hold of his arm, holding him back. He looked into the younger mans eyes, all he could see was rage. He held tightly to Aarons arm, his own knuckles turning white.

"Let go." He demanded, angrily jerking his arm away. "He killed Clyde! I can't just stand here and do nothing!"

"Fine!" Jackson yelled, turning away and stalking towards to the parking garage.

"Where are you going?" Aaron yelled after him.

"Home," he shouted over his shoulder, not stopping on his walk.

"Just wait will ya," Aaron said, as he ran to catch Jackson.

"No, I won't," spat Jackson. Aaron grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop and turn around.

"What's with you?"

"This...you!" Jackson said, gesturing towards Aaron. "You can't stop can you? You just have to go off on one. Bloody lot of good that's done in the past."

"What do you want me to do? He killed my dog! I can't let that go."

"And what will it achieve, huh? Nothing! I've had enough."

"What do you mean?" the question hung in the air between them. Aaron's face was a mix of anger, confusion, and sadness.

"I mean if you go over there and lay into that lad I'm done...your choice. You can go pummel that guy, which will probably get you sent down by the way, or you can come with me."

"Jay..."

"I mean it Aaron. If you go over there, we're through." With that he turned and started his trek to the van. His mind was racing; he could feel his heart being torn in two. He didn't want to end things with Aaron, but he couldn't handle the anger any longer. Enough was enough.

"You," Aaron called after him, running to catch up.

"You what?" Jackson asked, turning to look the younger man in the eye.

"I choose you...always you." The smile from Jackson made Aarons heart soar. He could see the happiness radiating off him. Without thinking Aaron reached out and caressed his cheek, sliding his hand down Jackson's arm and into his hand, interlacing their fingers.

"Let's go home," he said, pulling Jackson towards him. He glanced over his shoulder, his anger still under the surface, but the man was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

They were headed back to Emmerdale, both sat in a comfortable silence, the radio playing some cheesy pop song and the soft hum of the engine the only noise in the vast emptiness. Jackson smiled, a small half smile, when he caught Aaron glancing at him. Aaron dipped his head low feeling the rush of blood to his cheeks. He was happy. Happy that he didn't go after the guy back in Hotten, happy that he didn't lose Jackson as a result of his uncontrollable rage. He wanted to pummel the guy, watch him write around in agony as he landed blow after blow on him. He wanted him to feel pain, a lot of pain, the same amount of pain he felt when Paddy told him Clyde didn't make it.

Then Jackson told him to chose and all thoughts of anger were replaced with fear...fear of losing Jackson. Just the thought of it made his breathing increasing to the point of hyperventilating. He could feel his heart beating; hear a steady ringing in his ears. It was like he was off balance. He glanced at Jackson again, reaching out to lay a hand delicately on his thigh. He'd made the right decision; he would never choose anything over Jackson.

"What's this idiot doing?" Jackson asked while looking in the rear view.

Aaron turned to look behind them, headlights blinding him. Someone was fast approaching, swerving from one side of the road to the other, horn blaring.

"Spent too much time on the lash I suppose," he said, turning to look at Jackson, shrugging his shoulders. He sat watching the car for a few minutes, trying to make out the licence plate. The van jerked.

"Did they just hit us?" Another violent jerk.

"What the hell?" Aaron asked, holding his neck and wincing in pain.

The car swerved to the side of the van, racing up the side. Jackson looked over, one hand on the wheel, one ready to roll down the window. He recognized the face; it was the same man from town...the same man that killed Aaron's dog.

"Aaron..." his voice was tentative, "Aaron?" He turned to look at the younger man, pain and anger etched onto his face.

"I see him," was all he said.

There was a loud bang; Jackson was trying to regain control. He couldn't, the van was out of control, they hit the verge, any chance of putting off a wreck gone.


	3. Chapter 3

The tears were falling now, rapidly increasing, leaving a glistening trail down his cheeks. Once Aaron started telling Officer Whitleigh about the night all the emotions, pain, and confusion came pouring out. He had to stop, take a moment to catch his breath, let his thoughts slow down. His mind was racing, confusing him, making him trip over his words. He needed to calm down, but knew that wouldn't be possible until he saw Jackson. He needed to look into those chocolate brown eyes, find the assurance that was always there, that calming effect Jackson always had on him.

Officer Whitleigh cleared his throat, startling Aaron; he'd almost forgotten the officer was there, he was too lost in his thoughts about his boyfriend.

"Sorry," Aaron replied quietly, "Need a breather."

"I understand," his words were thoughtful, simple but Aaron could tell he understood how much this hurt. "Can you tell me what happened next?"

"Aaron," It was Paddy. He looked exhausted, tired out from crying and worrying too much.

"Can I see Jay now?" he pleaded.

A smile crept over Paddy's lips when he heard the nickname Aaron had given Jackson. To most people it would mean nothing, some insignificant thing, but for Aaron it was huge. Another clear sign of how far he'd come since meeting the builder. His gaze lingered on for too long; he could tell Aaron was getting antsy. He couldn't find the words; his throat was dry, catching anything that tried to come out.

"He's still with the doctor and Hazel," he lied. He couldn't tell him just yet, he was too weak, and he feared it might set back his recovery. That wasn't strictly true; he just couldn't bring himself to break the young man's heart.

"Still? How bad is it?" Paddy looked away, he could see the hurt in Aaron's eyes, it was too much to bear. "Paddy, tell me," he went on, he was getting angry. Angry that Paddy wouldn't tell him anything, that Jackson had been hurt because he'd been too stupid to refund the money of the car, that he could be...No! He couldn't go there, that wasn't an option, he wasn't dead.

"It shouldn't be too much longer," Paddy looked back to Aaron, forcing a hopeful smile. His eyes were red, face stained with tears. He knew Aaron wouldn't be able to handle any bad news; he was already breaking in front of him.

"Please" Aaron begged, not caring if he sounded pathetic. The only thing he cared about was seeing Jackson, holding him in his arms, kissing him. Nothing else mattered.

Paddy nodded, he knew he couldn't put it off. No matter how much he wanted to protect Aaron, he knew he would never give up.

He stepped out of the door, sighing loudly as he approached the nurse's station.

"Paddy!" the voice was shrill, wrought with pain. He didn't even look up; he knew she would be over bombarding him with questions. Questions he didn't want to answer, he was too tired and worried. All the life drained out of him after he got the call about the accident.

"Chas," he said plainly.

"What's happened? Where is he? Is he alright? And Jackson? Did you tell Hazel?" she didn't stop for air. Paddy wondered if she might pass out from lack of oxygen, but she rattled on, the questions not even registering now.

"He's awake, but weak. He's worried as well." He let his head fall; he hadn't the energy to deal with this. Chas made a move, but he stopped her. "He's with an officer right now, answering questions about the accident."

"Oh. Where's Jackson?" Chas noticed the tears well in Paddy's eyes. "He's not..."

"No!" exclaimed Paddy. "He's not well off though. I haven't told Aaron."

"You have to! He'll never forgive you if you don't."

"I'm getting a nurse, he has to see him otherwise he won't be able to accept it."

"Has he said what happened?" She was twitching nervously now, she wanted to run in Aaron's room and wrap him in her arms, but she knew he would push her away. She couldn't stand still; patience was never her strong suit.

"I don't know," Paddy sighed. "He probably told the officer, but I was checking on Jackson."

A nurse approached then, a sweet relief from giving Chas more answers. She was small, with a welcoming smile. Paddy felt at ease for a moment. He talked to her for a few minutes, telling her that Aaron would get out of the bed and go to Jackson no matter what, and it would be easier for everyone if she would help him. She agreed a small smile tugging at her mouth, then without hesitation went to fetch a wheelchair. Paddy led the way, the nurse and Chas following behind.

As soon as they entered the door Chas was babbling on incessantly, running and throwing her arms around Aaron. He accepted the hug, surprising himself and his mum. He saw Paddy standing there with his mouth open; he rolled his eyes then slowly pushed his mum away. He could see the relief in her eyes, behind the tears.

"Your chariot," Paddy said, gesturing toward the wheelchair and nurse.

"Cheers Paddy. I owe you." Paddy smiled, trying to hide the concern he knew was emblazoned on his face.

"We'll be here when you get back," he gripped Aaron's shoulder, feeling the younger man put his hand on his. The tears were coming again; he looked to Chas, she was crying at the sincerity of the moment.

* * *

The nurse pushed him along the corridor, too slow for his liking, but he wasn't going to complain, he was going to see Jackson. She passed by all the adjoining rooms, down the hallway to the elevator. She pressed the 6th floor button, stepping back and looking at Aaron. He could hear her humming; the song was slow and gentle. It calmed his racing heart.

The elevator doors opened, a large desk dominating the middle of the room. Monitors with patients on screen lined one wall. Nurses and doctors were buzzing around, checking charts and answering calls. His heart almost leapt out of his chest when he saw the sign, _Intensive Care Unit_ in big, bold letters. He swallowed a few times, trying to get rid of the lump that had formed in his throat. It never occurred to him that Jackson could be seriously injured; he fully expected to be wheeled into the next room to see Jackson with a few bumps and bruises, and his ever present smile to greet him. Now reality was setting in, and the closer he got to Jackson the more he wanted to run away.

The nurse knocked lightly on the door, _Room 684_ the sign read. He heard a muffled voice within, then the nurse slowly pushed the door open.

"Hazel?" Aaron asked meekly as the nurse pushed him further into the room. Hazel looked away from Jackson, her eyes puffy and red from crying.

"Oh Aaron," she sobbed, her head falling forward as her emotions got the better of her. She pushed herself off the stool, cautiously slipping her hand out of her sons. She knelt down and took Aaron in her arms; he hugged her back, looking over her shoulder at Jackson.

He was motionless, various wires and tubes all around him. Machines flanked both sides of the bed. He had a tube in his mouth to help him breath. One machine beeped in a steady rhythm, while another monitored his heart. He could see an IV snaking its way down Jacksons arm, and another tube carrying blood next to it. Jackson's chest was rising and falling in sync with another machine, the only thing keeping him breathing.

Hazel pulled away; he could feel the damp on his shoulder where she had been crying. He was crying too, he hadn't even realised. He didn't know what to do or say, he sat in the wheelchair staring at Jackson, his brain not able to process the scene in front of him. He looked up at Hazel, still unable to speak.

"He's had a serious head trauma," she started, breaking the deafening silence. "I'll leave you two alone."


	4. Chapter 4

Aaron watched Hazel walk out of the room, glancing back once more at Jackson, a sob escaping before closing the door. He didn't move; he felt rooted to the spot. His hands hovered on the wheels, but try as he might he couldn't get them to move. He stared hopelessly at Jackson, not able to comprehend the damage that had been done. It felt like forever that he sat there, finally forcing his trembling hands to propel the wheels forward. He manoeuvred the wheelchair between the bed and many machines, careful not to disturb them.

His mouth fell open as he looked at Jackson. His face was covered in cuts and bruises, there was a bandage on his left temple, blood still matted in his hair. His eyes were swollen shut, shades of blue and purple ringing them, a small cut above his eyebrow. Slowly he raised his hand, still trembling from shock, and grasped Jackson's lightly. It was too much for him to take in. He sat there with Jackson's hand in his and let the feelings overwhelm him. He cried, harder than he'd ever cried before. He needed to be strong, to try and talk to Jackson, get him to wake up...but the tears didn't stop. He laid his head down on his arm, his body shaking with emotion, guilt.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered through the tears. "I need you to wake up Jay; you can't do this; you can't give up. I need you...I love you."

He'd wanted to say it for a while; he almost did one night in Lanzarote, but was too scared that the builder didn't feel the same. How he wished he would have said it then, at least Jackson would have known before...he was crying even harder now. What was he meant to say? He didn't have a clue, he didn't know if Jackson could hear him. He wondered if this is how Paddy and his mum felt after he tried to top himself. He felt even guiltier for putting them through that.

A nurse came in to check one of the machines, she glanced at Aaron when she finished.

"Do you need me to get someone for you?" The words startled him. He shook his head, wiping away some of the tears before looking at her.

"He a mate of yours?"

"Boyfriend actually, the most amazing boyfriend." The nurse walked to his side and put a hand gingerly on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

"My name's Caroline, if you need anything you just let me know alright?"

Aaron smiled up at her, a small genuine smile, but something broke inside him and he couldn't hold the tears back. Caroline stood there, rubbing soothing circles on his back. He felt embarrassed that he'd broken down in front of a complete stranger, but comforted at the same time because she didn't expect anything from him. No talking through his emotions, no questions about what happened, nothing.

"Sorry," he mumbled, shifting slightly in his chair.

"Don't apologise sweetie, I know it's hard to see him like this."

"Can he hear me? If I talk to him I mean."

"I like to think he can. It helps, not just him, it will help you too. Just talk to him like you normally would."

"Thank you," His voiced cracked with emotion.

"I'll leave you with him. Talk to him."

She gave Aaron's shoulder a light squeeze then turned to leave. Aaron watched the door close; he was avoiding looking back at Jackson. He was overcome with guilt, all this was his fault. He let out a shaky breath before returning his gaze back to Jackson.

"Jackson..." He didn't know what to say, the words seem trapped somewhere inside him. He let out another breath. "Jay, I never meant any of this to happen. If I'd have known..." What would he have done differently? Nothing, he would have been just as stubborn. He would have refused to refund Mickey the money. He never thought things through. He pushed those thoughts away; he needed to focus on Jackson.

"I don't think you realise how important you are to me. If you weren't in my life I don't know what I would do. You've helped me so much, without you I would have never fully accepted myself. I would have never fallen in love with someone well better than I deserve. I remember the first time I saw you, I was terrified. I was sat at the bar, nervously looking around, looking for an escape route. You were next to me, wearing that red and white plaid shirt. I hated it at the time, it hugged you in all the right places and I couldn't keep my eyes off you. I swear my heart stopped when you asked me to join you for a game of pool," he laughed lightly remembering how scared he'd been.

"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Paddy is great too, don't get me wrong, but you...you are amazing. I honestly don't know why you've stuck with me; I've brought nothing but grief. And I come with so much baggage you could fill a small bus. I know I can be a prat most of the time and I do stupid things without thinking, but you've made me a better person. I love you so much Jay, more than I can ever say."

He started, eyes widening, he felt Jackson's hand grip his tighter. He looked up quickly; Jackson's eyes were open slightly. Relief flooded him; his eyes were welling up again.

"Jackson?" He was beaming, the smile overtaking his entire face. He pressed the call button. A few seconds later Caroline entered, Hazel right behind her. He looked to Jackson's mum, her mouth agape, and hand over her heart. She looked ready to fall over.

"Hazel?" He asked, concern in his voice. "You alright?"

She didn't respond. She was standing stock still staring at Jackson. His eyes were open, but he hadn't moved. Was that a good sign? She didn't know, she looked to Aaron, but he was wearing the same confused look as her. They both watched as the nurse talked to Jackson, checking various machines, moving her finger in front of his eyes.

"He grabbed my hand," Aaron told the nurse. "I was telling him that I..." he glanced at Hazel; she was listening intently to what he was saying. He didn't know if he should go on, he was embarrassed to say it again. He looked at Jackson again, his eyes softening. "I was telling him that I love him."

"What?" Hazel asked, not masking her surprise. Her mouth was open again, eyes wide, looking at Aaron with uncertainty.

"I'm in love with him," he stated simply, a true conviction to his words.

She smiled a large warm smile. Her eyes were misted over. He smiled back. A small gasp escaped his lips as he felt Jackson's hand tighten around his once more.

"Jay, please," He didn't even wince at the neediness in his voice. He would truly give anything for Jackson to wake up.


	5. Chapter 5

_Just wanted to say thanks for all the nice reviews, it really means a lot. If you have any suggestions or tips please let me know! –a._

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He felt like he was suspended in air, somewhere between life and some uncertain something. He could hear Aaron in the distance telling him something important, but he couldn't make it out.

There was a bright light shining at him, a woman's voice giving him instructions. They weren't words, his brain jumbling them up before he could hear properly. He tried to focus on the light, the words...he wanted to hear Aaron's voice again. It was his life line.

"Jay please," That was enough, he focused on the voice, noticed the pleading tone in it. He was more alert now. He could feel the dryness of his throat, the tube forcing air into his lungs. He felt the stings and prickles of a thousand tiny cuts, the dull pain in his face where the bruises lay. He could feel the strong hand of his boyfriend holding his lightly.

He heard his voice again, then his mum, but still couldn't make out the words. His eyes began to focus; there was a woman hovering over him, a finger moving in front of his eyes. He followed it for a bit, looking right then left. He caught a glimpse of Aaron, his face was wet with tears but a smile planted firmly on his lips; even in his current state he felt his heart flip.

Jackson went to speak, tell him everything would be alright, the tube in his throat catching his words. He lifted his arm to remove it, the pain shooting through it like a bolt of lightning. He could feel himself moan in agony, feel the nurse gently put his arm back on the soft mattress.

He felt the wet warmth of his tears on his face, the slow burn as they passed through the cuts on his face.

He looked to Aaron once more, his smile had faltered, a look of pure worry replacing it. Then he was being forced backwards. Jackson tightened his grip on Aaron's hand, his boyfriend following his lead.

He was yelling something at Jackson, urgency in his tone. Jackson wanted to yell back, tell him he loved him, and curse at the nurse taking Aaron away. He didn't get the chance, sleep was pulling him in. He fought to keep his eyes open, losing the battle as darkness claimed him.

* * *

Paddy sat watching the clock, the hands slowly ticking over, the seconds feeling like years; Aaron had been gone just under 30 minutes. He wondered if the shock and worry over seeing Jackson would override the guilt and anger. It was no secret that Aaron couldn't deal with conflict or sadness or anything really. Paddy knew first hand that he couldn't stop himself once the anger bubbled over, or the sadness. His reactions were extreme to say the least.

He sighed, glancing at the clock once more; he was convinced it stopped working. The door opened, Paddy's breath caught in his chest, it was Chas carrying two cups of tea. He thanked her as he took the cup, the warmth doing little to calm him.

"That officer gonna stand there all night?" She asked, trying to lull Paddy into conversation. He knew she was worried, and when that happened she let any little thing irritate her.

"He just needs answers...we all do." He sighed.

"Yeah, I know, but..." Chas was interrupted by the ringing of Paddy's mobile.

"Aaron! Aaron, calm down. We're on our way." He hung up, jumping from his seat. He grabbed Chas by the hand, pulling her along behind him.

"It's Jackson," He said hurriedly.

Chas followed quickly along the corridor.

"Paddy what's happened?" She asked once they reached the elevators, her breathing ragged.

"He's awake."

The elevator doors opened, Paddy and Chas stepped in, punched the 6th floor button, and waited for the doors to close. An arm reached in before they could close fully, Officer Whitleigh coming into view as the doors slid open.

"Get in would ya, we're in a hurry," Chas shrieked, tugging the officer's arm.

"Sorry," Paddy apologised, "It's just Jackson woke up."

They came to a stop on the 6th floor, all three hurrying out the door towards room 684. Hazel was sat in a chair next to the door, Aaron in front of her holding her hand in his. Both had tears in their eyes, their brows furrowed in confusion and worry.

"What's happened?" Paddy asked, breathless from rushing.

"He's awake," Aaron said, casting his eyes downward not able to look at Paddy.

"Is he in with the doctor?" Chas asked, nodding her head in the direction of the door.

Hazel sighed heavily, leaning her head against the wall, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

"They took him away, didn't even tell us what was going on," he was still looking at the floor, he knew if he looked at Paddy or his mum he would break down.

Paddy moved next to Aaron, placing a reassuring hand on the young man's shoulder. He felt him begin to shiver under his touch, and then heard the muffled sobs escape from him. He knelt down and wrapped him in his arms, wishing he could take away all his pain.

* * *

After a while they all moved to the waiting area, it had been over an hour since the doctor and nurses rushed Jackson from the room. The air was fraught with tension. Hazel stared out the window lost in her own world, waves of tears coming and going. Chas was texting on her mobile, glancing around nervously at everyone in the room, only stopping to glare at the officer for his intrusion. She opened her mouth to speak countless times, but closed it before the words could come out. Paddy noticed this, but couldn't bear the shrill voice, so he turned to watch Aaron instead. He wanted to say something, but there were no words of comfort. He could only stand nearby waiting to offer support if they younger man asked for it. He was worried for Aaron; he had time to calm down a bit and take everything in, which meant he had time for his worry to convert to anger. His shoulders were stiff, jaw clenched tightly; he was flexing his hands into fists then releasing them. Paddy wanted to yell at him that this was no time to be angry, but he knew it wouldn't help and didn't believe it himself. It was the perfect time to be angry, he would be angry as well if the person he loved was critically injured. In fact, he would be going through every emotion known to man, but to what end? It wouldn't help; it would just exacerbate the situation. There was something else besides anger in Aaron; the slight tapping of his foot and picking at the hem of his hospital gown gave it away. He was nervous, terrified even. Paddy went to make a move, try to get Aaron to open up, but Officer Whitleigh was now at his side. Paddy cringed inwardly; he knew Aaron and now was definitely not the time to get him to answer questions.

"Mr. Livesy," Aaron jumped, forgetting there were other people in the room. He looked up at the officer, a blank expression on his face, but under the surface was nothing but rage.

"Could you tell me the rest of tonight's events? I need to get back to the station, but I need all the facts before we can go further with the investigation."

Aaron stared at him for a moment; he knew he had to tell him what happened, get some justice for what that thug did to Jackson. His anger abated, not fully, but enough so he could have a civil conversation with the officer. He remembered where he left off from earlier, sighing he began to tell the officer what happened next.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks to everyone for the reviews, I really truly appreciate them. I will keep updating as long as inspiration hits, and as long as Christchurch isn't hit with another massive earthquake that knocks out the power and internet :D –a._

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Jackson tried steering the van away from the verge, pulling the wheel hard right, it was useless. The van struck it on Aaron's side, his head slamming against the window. A scream of pain filled the air. Jackson wanted to check he was alright, but was too preoccupied trying to get some control over the vehicle. The car behind them had slowed, the driver watching the events unfold in front of him. Then van skidded across to the other lane, hitting the gravelled shoulder; they started spinning out of control, all Jackson's efforts to save themselves lost.

Jackson looked to Aaron, noticing the blood on the window, the same blood running down his face. Aaron seemed to be out of it, his eyes half opened, head rocking wildly side to side. Jackson reached out a trembling hand, taking Aaron's hand in his and gripping it tight. He felt like they were moving in slow motion. The van spun round once more, toppled on its side and rolled on its top, all the windows shattering. There was a searing pain in his legs and a throbbing in his head. He had dropped Aaron's hand at some point in the commotion, reaching out he searched frantically for it. He looked to his left, Aaron was slumped in his seat, head tilted to the side. Jackson froze, panic setting in.

"Aaron?" Jackson called, there was no answer. "Aaron, you have to wake up...please. We have to get out of here."

Jackson tried to move, his legs were pinned under the steering wheel and dash. He could feel blood trickling down his left leg, every nerve tingling at the sensation. He couldn't gain his bearings, he didn't know how the van was situated...was it on its side, did it roll back onto its wheels. He was so disoriented. The pain didn't help, he felt like he could pass out at any minute.

His heart stopped, the sound getting closer. His panic had risen to unbearable levels. The sound of the train was growing louder, the horn blowing madly. His heart was racing, his mind was going over ever possible scenario...but deep down he knew, they we're on the tracks. The horn was warning them to get off the tracks. He could feel the heat from the lights, turning his head slightly he could see it was only a matter of seconds before it hit them. Acting on instinct he turned his body towards Aaron, acting as a shield against the train.

"I love you," he whispered to the younger man.

* * *

Officer Whitleigh gave Aaron a small frown, he knew it wasn't much help, but it was all he remembered. He was frustrated with himself, frustrated that he'd let Jackson down once again.

"Can you tell me about the train?" the officer asked while jotting something down in his notepad.

"What train?" Aaron asked, dumbfounded.

The officer visibly gawked at Aaron; his mouth was slightly ajar with surprise. He composed himself slightly, stuttering over himself before clearing his throat and continuing.

"You don't remember the train? It hit the driver's side at the rear of the vehicle," Aaron shook his head, a confused look on his face. Officer Whitleigh continued, "It pushed the vehicle about a mile from the crossing, the train conductor is the one who called an ambulance."

Aaron stared at him like he was speaking a foreign language; surely he would remember being hit by a train. He would have sustained more injuries for one, and...Oh god, Jackson. He breathing sped up, coming in short quick bursts. His head was spinning, thoughts of Jackson taking the full force of the collision swirling in his mind. His eyes darted around the room; he could see everyone staring at him. Paddy was talking to him now, it was no use, all he could here was a ringing in his ears. He couldn't get the thoughts of Jackson out of his head; the pain he must have felt had to be unbearable. How did he come out seemingly unscathed? A few cuts and bruises here and there, a gash in his temple, and a sprained ankle were all he had to show...but Jackson, he was in the ICU in a coma, then being whisked away for god knows.

Aaron had so many questions; what if they had taken him to surgery, what if Aaron accidently hurt him, what if he woke up too soon; all those questions and no answers. His breathing was worse off now; a nurse had been called to help. She gave him something to calm him, its effects starting instantly, a hazy feeling washing over him.

"We'll have to take him back to his room. He's had quite a shock and we need to monitor him properly," the nurse said to Paddy and Chas.

"No," Aaron retorted, "I'm not leaving until I see Jackson again."

"Aaron, you need to rest," Paddy's voice was calm; "You won't be any good to Jackson if you make yourself worse."

He was right, he was always right. It was one thing that annoyed him most about Paddy. He knew he wouldn't have a choice; Paddy, Chas, and even Hazel would force him back to his room and into his bed if they had to.

"Fine," he relented. "But I want to know when Jay is back; I want to be here when he wakes up."

"I can't make any promises," Paddy started.

"Then I'm staying," Aaron cut him off.

Paddy threw his hands up, giving in to Aaron's plea. There was no stopping him, short of strapping him to the bed, but Paddy doubted even that would keep him away from Jackson.

The nurse stepped behind the wheelchair, pushing Aaron forward towards the exit, "As soon as he's back," he called over his shoulder.

* * *

Aaron had been back in his hospital room almost an hour; his breathing was back to normal, but he was going crazy with worry. He thought someone would have told him something by now; he wanted to get out of bed, his legs twitching with restlessness. He knew if he could get up he would run straight back to room 684 and wait until the nurses brought Jackson back.

He sighed heavily, the last hour had been spent trying to remember the train, the events between him hitting his head on the window and waking up it the wreckage. He didn't remember the ambulance arriving or the ride to hospital; he didn't remember being admitted to casualty or getting his wounds treated. He was growing frustrated, he needed something to trigger his memory, but it was hopeless.

There was a light knock at the door, his heart beat increased.

"Eh up mate," Adam said with a smile.

"Oh...alright?" Aaron asked dejectedly.

"Try not to get too excited," Adam said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

Aaron rubbed his hands through his hair, something he did when he was stressed. Normally he loved the banter between himself and Adam, but not now...he was too worried about Jackson and preoccupied with trying to remember the accident.

"Sorry mate thought you might've been Paddy with news about Jay."

"Still nothing then?" Aaron shook his head.

"I'm going flaming crazy in here! No word on Jackson and I've been trying to remember what happened tonight, but I can't. I...I..." He didn't know what else to say, his anger was slowly increasing and he didn't want to go off on Adam, he needed a mate right now.

"Nurse said you had a concussion and slight memory loss. It'll come back eventually." He sat on the edge of the bed carefully, "Want me to go find out about Jay, was it?" He smiled at Aaron who dipped his head to hide the pink of his cheeks.

"Nah you're alright. Paddy said he would let me know first thing. At least he'd better or I may never speak to him again."

They sat talking and enjoying each other's company for a while longer, Adam helping put his mind at ease for the time being.

* * *

Aaron opened his eyes slowly, the first glimmer of sunlight filtering through the blinds. Paddy was in the chair opposite the bed, head resting precariously on his hand as he slept. He looked around the room, Adam was still there, curled up on the floor with his jacket bunched under his head. Aaron smiled at the site.

He felt groggy, more than that really, like he was still half asleep. He went to raise his hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes, his arms were restrained. He struggled against them, wondering why the hell they were on him. The noise roused Paddy from his sleep, his head jerked up to see Aaron fighting against the restraints. His breath caught in his throat, he'd hoped there would be more time.

"Aaron," Paddy spoke, his voice low.

"Paddy, what the hell?" he asked gesturing towards his arms.

"We didn't have a choice, I'm sorry."

"What you on about?" Aaron's brows furrowed in confusion, a glint of anger in his eyes.

"I came in last night to give you an update on Jackson; it wasn't...well you lost it. The nurses had to restrain you before they gave you a sedative. You were out of control mate."

"I don't remember any of that! Last thing I remember Adam and I were talking and then you came in. How is Jackson?"

Paddy looked down at his lap, his fingers fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt. He didn't want to have to tell Aaron again, he'd already gone out of his mind before, and Paddy couldn't watch him go through it again.

"Paddy?" Aaron asked after the silence stretched on too long.

"They took him to surgery last night. He has a cerebral contusion, which is a bruise on the brain," he added seeing the confusion on Aaron's face. "There was some intracranial pressure; they had no choice but to operate."

"That doesn't tell me how he is Paddy!" Aaron was getting angrier, he just wanted answers.

"Aaron...he's..." Tears were falling from Paddy's eyes, he turned away unable to look at Aaron, his anger was slowly receding and being replaced with hurt.

"No! No he can't be! He's not...is he?" His head was spinning, he felt off balance, and could feel a rush of sick coming up.


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks for all the great reviews on the last chapter. I read them while having a crap day at work and they brightened my day! –a._

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* * *

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Aaron's thoughts were dancing wildly around his head, unable to process what Paddy had told him. It felt as if the world had come to a screeching halt and all its weight landed directly on him. He didn't cry, he had done so much of that already, he didn't have the tears. His heart felt like it was in a vice, getting tighter with every breath, and soon it would be crushed into a million pieces. He'd been sick, every emotion coming up in a violent rush. His head was spinning.

Paddy was telling him something, the words echoing in his head. Some words penetrated his thoughts, but they didn't make sense. None of this made sense. He wanted to turn and run away, go back in time, go anywhere else but here and now.

They were going down a long corridor, Paddy pushing his wheelchair slowly towards their destination. Aaron heard him sigh, a deep sad sigh; he could feel his hands trembling on the handles of the chair. Paddy was scared, the only time Aaron had seen Paddy this way was the night he'd attacked him, the night he came out. He felt his stomach lurch as they came to a stop, dread washed over him.

Paddy was in front of him now, kneeling down to look him in the eye. His eyes were full of tears, behind them was fear. The tears were falling from Paddy's eyes in a steady stream, yet Aaron couldn't cry. He wanted to; he wanted to cry, scream, throw things...he wanted to do something, anything, but he couldn't. He was frozen. He had no fight in him, he was hollow, just a shell.

"Aaron," Paddy's voice was strained with emotion, "try to stay calm when you see him. It will be a shock."

Aaron nodded, he was completely numb. Paddy pushed opened the door but Aaron didn't move. He couldn't go in there; he couldn't see Jackson like that. He could feel a cold sweat overtaking him, the bile rising in his throat, the first fragments of his broken heart falling in his chest.

"Aaron you have to see him. You may not have the chance..." He didn't want to finish his sentence, didn't want to cause Aaron anymore pain. He was broken and nothing would change that.

Slowly Aaron pushed the chair forward, entering the room, eyes cast down. A large lump formed in his throat, his breathing shallow. He didn't want to look up.

"Hazel," He heard Paddy say. "Can I get you anything?"

Aaron looked up to see Hazel, she was holding Jackson's hand in hers, slowly caressing it between her fingers and thumbs. Her shoulders were slumped forward, heaving back and forth from uncontrollable sobs. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy; she looked like she'd been crying for days. She shook her head at Paddy's question, not taking her eyes of her son.

Aaron caught a glimpse of Jackson, even now he was perfect. The tears were back now, coming in an unrelenting wave. He doubled over, the sadness like a punch to the stomach. Paddy was wrapping him in his arms, trying to soothe him. The tough lad was gone now, broken down and laid bare, all that was left was a boy lost.

Slowly he separated from Paddy; he placed a shaky hand on the older man's shoulder, silently thanking him for being here, for being his support. He placed his hand on the brake of the wheelchair, his hand lingering there while a battle raged inside him. He fought the urge to take the wheels in his hand and turn away from Jackson, instead he placed one foot on the ground, pushing off the chair he stood, his legs almost buckling under him. There was a dull pain in his ankle, but nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

He moved slowly, deliberately taking his time, until he stood next to Hazel. He placed a hand on her back, turning slowly to look at Jackson. He felt the last of his heart break as he looked at his boyfriend. Everything was almost the same as before; the cuts and bruises on his face still visible, the bandage on his temple was replaced with swathing around his head, the matted blood in his hair was gone now, the hair having been shaved in that area to allow for surgery.

Aaron wanted to reach out and caress his cheek, place a kiss on his lips, breathe life into him. He wanted to wrap him in his arms and tell him it would all be ok, that he would be here for him always. He didn't move, he couldn't, his brain stopped functioning properly when he looked at Jackson's motionless body in front of him.

His legs were shaking, the reality weighing down on him was too much, his knees began to give way under him. He felt an arm holding him up, shifting him back onto a waiting stool. He looked up to meet Adam's gaze, his wall crumbled; he held onto his friend while the crying took him over completely. Adam pulled him into a hug, letting Aaron cry until he couldn't anymore.

* * *

He was alone with Jackson now, everyone going into the corridor to give him some time alone with his lover.

Aaron reached out his hand, he was afraid of touching Jackson, afraid he may hurt him, but he couldn't be this close and not touch him. He needed the contact, the feeling of skin on skin. He slipped his hand into his boyfriends, rubbing his thumb lightly over his fingers. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on his hand, his lips tingling at the touch.

He took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind. There was so much he wanted to tell him, so much that Jackson had wanted him to say, but he always bottled it. He didn't want to appear weak or girly, but now he wished he would have said all those things.

He wanted to tell him that he started falling in love with him after that first kiss outside Bar West, that for the first time in his life something felt right. _He _felt right. He wanted to tell him how sorry he was for lashing out, sorry for being off with his mum at first, for not showing him any affection in public, for everything.

He closed his eyes, pushing all thoughts from his mind; he needed to speak from his heart, not his head. Opening his eyes he looked at Jackson, slowly raising his hand to stroke his cheek.

"I don't think I can go on without you...I wouldn't want to. I love you Jay, more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. I would gladly spend the rest of my life with you if that's what you wanted."

The machine next to him sprung to life, startling him. He didn't know what it was for, but it was beeping at an alarming rate. Suddenly a nurse came bursting through the door, pushing past Aaron she checked the machine.

"Did I do something?" Aaron asked, panic in his voice.

"I would say so. Were you talking to him?"

He nodded, tears pooling in his eyes, slowly removing his hand from Jackson's; afraid of causing more harm. Hazel, Paddy, and Adam stood in the door way, all of them holding their breath, concern plastered on their faces.

"Well whatever you said made him react."

Aaron looked at Jackson again, hope rising in him. He took his hand once more, kissing the knuckles.

"I mean it Jay; I would stay with you forever."

There was a collective gasp from the doorway, but it didn't faze him as he continued to talk.

"You have to wake up; I need you to wake up. I want to look you in the eye and tell you all this and more. I want to grow old with you, live together properly, and maybe one day get married."

"Aaron..." Paddy started his voice full of shock. He didn't know what to say, it was shocking to hear Aaron open up like this, to be so honest. He felt a surge of pride that he could do it, and it was all thanks to Jackson.

The machine was going off again, then another. The tension in the room grew. Aaron held fast to Jackson's hand, wanting him to know he was there and didn't plan on going anywhere.


	8. Chapter 8

Two days had passed. Two days without anymore reactions, no alarms going off. Two days of no changes at all. Two days and Jackson hadn't woken up.

There had been a steady stream of visitors; people from the village and mates of Jackson's. Aaron sat and watched them talk to Jackson, getting angry when it sounded like they were saying their goodbyes; watching everyone gather around Jackson, tears streaming down their faces, like they were at a wake; he didn't even try to mask his disgust with them. He feigned interest when they spoke to him, the words of condolence not penetrating. He didn't want their pity, their stories of Jackson _before_; he didn't want anything from them.

He'd broken down once when Pearl came to visit. Jackson held a special place in her heart and when she saw him lying there something inside her broke. Aaron had rushed to her side and without thinking pulled her into a comforting embrace. Paddy had walked in to see them embracing, faces wet with tears. He didn't interrupt, just turned and left quietly. Pearl had stayed for hours; talking with Aaron, getting him to eat something, and comforting him in a grandmotherly way. Aaron sat there and listened, not once pulling a face or saying a snide remark; he simply sat there with Pearl's hand in his.

The only time he left Jackson's side was at night, when he was forced back to his room to sleep. He didn't sleep though; instead he tossed and turned until morning. His mind was going at full speed, never ceasing, all his thoughts of Jackson.

Time alone was rare. Hazel was there for most of the day, only leaving at night to get some rest. Paddy and Chas kept a constant vigil over Aaron, fussing over him when he looked tired or didn't eat. Adam visited every day, checking to make sure Aaron was alright. He wasn't alright, wouldn't be until Jackson woke up, but he'd lie and say he was. He didn't want to be fussed over; he just wanted to be left alone with the man he loves.

When they were alone he would talk to Jackson, telling him everything he'd ever wanted to. Sometimes he would talk about his past, telling Jackson things he'd never told another living soul. It was therapeutic, but at the same time hollow. He didn't have the comforting eyes to look into, the reassuring smile wasn't there now, nor the calming words. Other times he would talk about the future, what he wanted from life, places they should go together. More often than not he just sat there holding Jackson's hand in his, letting the feel of his lover's skin intoxicate him.

* * *

It was some time after midnight; Hazel had already left, leaving Aaron to sit with Jackson a while longer before a nurse would pull him away. He'd fallen asleep in the chair next to Jackson's bed, their hands loosely entwined. It was the first time he was at peace, his mind no longer racing, the first sleep he'd had in days. He'd been dreaming of their trip to Lanzarote, they had never been so happy; suddenly he was awake, a sense of urgency pulling him from his slumber. He looked round the room, nothing...everything was the same as when he fell asleep. He couldn't shake the feeling though, it was an unfamiliar feeling. He took a deep breath, stretching a little in his chair. He tightened his grip on his boyfriend's hand, reaching up to caress Jackson's face with the other. The air caught in his throat causing him to choke; he collected himself, looking in disbelief at the sight before him. Those big brown eyes were open, blinking away the sleep and confusion, searching wildly for answers. A smile crept over his lips, overtaking his face in a matter of seconds. He was awake...Jackson was awake.

* * *

He'd been ushered outside while the doctor examined Jackson, sharply refusing when the nurse wanted to take him to his room. He was debating whether or not to call Hazel; in the end deciding to leave it for now, he wanted to wait for some answers. He didn't want to get her hopes up in case something went wrong.

He was on edge, fearful that Jackson may have slipped back into his coma. There was also a lingering feeling of hope, he tried to hold on to it but he was too scared to be hopeful. The more time passed the more on edge he became. If there were no problems it shouldn't be taking this long. He glanced at the clock; 45 minutes had elapsed since the doctor went in.

He was fidgeting with the hem of his hospital gown, pulling at the cotton with one hand; the other tapping in a slow melodic rhythm on the arm rest of his chair. His eyes flickered between his hands and the door of Jackson's room, nervously watching the shadows passing under it.

Aaron jumped up when he heard the latch give, a sharp pain shooting through his sprained ankle; he didn't pay it any mind, all his attention focused on the door. A nurse stepped into the hallway, she was older, probably early 50's, with short greying hair. She was still listening to instructions from the doctor, her body turned slightly away from Aaron. He waited patiently, a hard task for him. He took a deep breath, holding it in subconsciously.

The nurse turned, surprised by Aaron standing there. She gave him a small smile, "He's awake. The doctor will be out in a moment to talk with you."

He let the breath out, a broad smile came over him. He thanked the nurse sincerely, having to hold back from wrapping her in a hug. His mind was spinning, he had to sit down, calm himself a little before talking to the doctor. His legs began to tremble, palms began to sweat; he was nervous. He smiled to himself; this was how he felt back at Smithy before he kissed Jackson. He didn't know the extent of the damage; would he remember the accident, waking up before...would he remember him?

His throat went dry, a large lump now prominent. What if he didn't remember? Aaron tried to calm down, try to reassure himself that Jackson would remember him. It was no use, the seed of doubt already planted.

The door opened again, Jackson's doctor stepped out, nodding at Aaron. He brought himself up onto shaky legs, clasping his hands tightly together, letting out an unstable breath.

"I'm Dr. Meyers," He said, holding out a hand, which Aaron took. "You're here for Jackson Walsh?"

Aaron nodded his mouth and throat still dry. "Aaron," he managed to get out.

"How is he?" Aaron asked, unable to stop himself.

The doctor looked down to the chart, sighing audibly.

"I'm sorry, but I should speak to his parents first."

"Oh," Aaron mumbled, legs buckling as he fell into the chair behind him. "I...I need to call his mum."

"It would be best," the doctor told him.

"Can I see him?" he asked hopefully.

"Please," Aaron added.

His eyes were pleading with the doctor, trying to convey how much he needed to see Jackson.

"Follow me," he relented.

Aaron followed the doctor into Jackson's room with bated breath. They approached the bed slowly, stopping at the side. Jackson looked peaceful, despite his battered appearance.

"Jackson," the doctor called, stirring Jackson from his stupor. "This is Aaron, do you remember him?"

The tears came fast upon seeing Aaron, his mouth opened yet nothing came out. He was becoming agitated trying to find his voice.

"It's alright Jackson," the doctor soothed him.

Aaron stood by watching the torment flash across Jackson's face. He felt the steady build up of tears in his eyes. He stepped forward, reaching his out to touch Jackson.

The frustration was building in Jackson. Aaron's tears broke through their barrier flooding his face. He reached out and delicately stroked Jackson's face, wiping away some of the tears that were falling from his eyes.

"Jay," he whispered, still nothing from Jackson.

Aaron turned to look at the doctor, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"He's had some slight brain damage and memory loss. I'm afraid he will have to relearn almost everything; his brain has reverted back to that of an infant. I'm sorry."

Aaron felt a blow to his heart, knocking him off balance. He never let go of Jackson's hand, a silent reminder that he would never leave.


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks for all the reviews! If you have any suggestions or ideas where this story should go let me know. -a._

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* * *

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Jackson's frustration and anger took over; he ripped his hand from Aaron's and turned away from him, all the hope that had built up in Aaron now fleeing. He reached out his hand again only to have Jackson push it aside roughly.

"Jay...Don't. Don't push me away."

It fell on deaf ears. Jackson refused to look at him, opting instead to stare at the wall beside him. He didn't want Aaron to see him like this, a broken man. He closed his eyes tightly, pushing out the tears that had pooled there. He felt the light touch of Aaron's hand on his arm, it was too much, he thrashed as best he could to show his anger.

"Jackson, calm down," The doctor ordered, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I think it best if you leave," he told Aaron, a glimmer of condolence in his eyes.

Aaron took a sharp breath before turning to the door.

"I love you," He told Jackson before the door closed behind him.

Jackson succumbed to his emotions; letting wave after wave of sadness hit him. He cried for himself, for being in this state. He cried for Aaron more, pushing away the man he loves broke his heart.

Once outside the door Aaron collapsed in a heap. Tears never ceasing as he tried to grasp the reality of what was happening. He tried to pull himself together, tried to push himself off the floor. It was no use, the weight of the world was nothing compared to the crippling realisation that Jackson didn't want him now.

A passing nurse stopped to help him, picking him up off the floor and placing him the chair. Aaron couldn't hold back the sick coming up, releasing all the pain and heartache with it. He couldn't stop the tears, or the breaking of his heart; he sat there clutching his sides, wishing this was all a bad dream.

He was in a daze, reality had ceased to exist and he felt trapped in this odd state. He felt the hands of someone moving him, felt a slight breeze as he was being pushed along the corridor, felt his heart screaming out to go back to Jackson.

He was back in his room now, being forced onto the bed. The nurse was talking to him, the words drifting into the air between them. This couldn't be happening; Jackson was just scared that's why he pushed him away. He would be more receptive later...wouldn't he?

He was talking now, his mouth working separately from his brain, something about a call. The nurse nodded at him, she was talking again. He couldn't focus on the words, couldn't focus on anything but the intense pain of his broken heart.

* * *

It was half 3 by the time Hazel and Paddy reached the hospital, both half asleep and frantic. They made their way to Jackson's room in silence, hopeful excitement ready to burst from them. Hazel started crying tears of happiness just outside the door, becoming wrought with emotion upon seeing Jackson, his reaction less than enthusiastic. Paddy's eyes swept the room searching for Aaron; surely someone would have told him Jackson was awake.

"Where's Aaron?" He asked, not bothering to hide the surprise in his voice. "He should be here...he wants to be here."

Hazel and Paddy watched Jackson, his eyes betraying the stony facade. He didn't speak...couldn't speak.

"Jackson..." Hazel exhaled. "Say something darling!"

Jackson dropped his gaze, staring intently at the bed sheets. He didn't know what to do, how to get his feelings out. He wanted to scream out his frustrations, throw a tantrum, anything to show how fed up he was.

The door opened at that moment, Dr. Meyers strode to the bed side opposite Hazel. Introductions weren't necessary, just answers.

"Why isn't he speaking?" Hazel asked, not waiting for the doctor's normal greetings.

Paddy sensed he was intruding on what should be between Jackson and Hazel, quietly making his way to the door and Aaron's room.

Hazel listened to the doctor talk, the medical jargon throwing her off kilter. She didn't quite grasp what he was saying, she heard the words but they didn't make sense.

"So you're telling me that my son is brain damaged? That all the skills he's learnt in his life are gone? He has to learn everything again?"

"Yes. I explained it to Aaron earlier as being like an infant again. He will have to relearn all his life skills such as talking, reading, walking, etcetera. It could be as simple as the brain going into protective mode while the contusion heals, which means that once it starts healing he should be able to regain what he's lost little by little. Once it is fully healed he should be almost 100%. However, it could be irreparable damage to the tissue, which could lead to months or even years of rehabilitation to regain these skills. We will run some more tests to check on the extent of the damage, and then I can give you a more thorough prognosis."

Hazel felt as if she had the wind knocked out of her, deflated she sat in the chair next to Jackson's bed, her knees threatening to give under her. She looked to Jackson; disappointment, sadness, anger, and a million other emotions played across his face.

* * *

Paddy knocked lightly on the door to Aaron's room, hoping he wasn't disturbing the younger man. When he received no answer he pushed the door open, quietly making his way to Aaron's side.

"I'm not asleep," Aaron said flatly.

Paddy jumped slightly, "Oh...you didn't answer. Why aren't you with Jackson?"

"I don't want to talk about it Paddy, I just want to be left alone," Aaron replied dejectedly.

"Surely you two didn't have a row, he's only woken up!"

"He can't talk Paddy! So no, we didn't have a row."

"So then why aren't you with him?"

Aaron sighed heavily, he knew Paddy would keep on him until he talked, but he was still so raw from the previous events he didn't want to talk about it. He looked at the older man, concern clearly on his face, eyebrows raised in anticipation.

"He didn't want me there, wouldn't let me touch him. When I did he went crazy, the doctor told me it would be best if I left. He wouldn't even look at me Paddy!" Aaron's eyes were full of sadness; Paddy hugged him tightly, his own heart breaking for him.

"You can't just give up, that's not who you are Aaron! You have to do what you normally do...don't back down. Don't go in there full throttle, but just keep going back, show Jackson you are there for the long haul...You are there for the long haul aren't you?"

"Course I am!" Aaron snapped. "I love him and I will spend the rest of my life showing him that if he would let me."

"Then show him. I'll get a wheelchair."

Paddy left the room, returning momentarily with a wheelchair. Aaron smiled at him, thankful that he wouldn't let him give up so easily.

"Aaron, what did you mean he can't talk?" Paddy asked, broaching the subject tentatively.

Aaron didn't answer, not wanting to think on that right now. He promised to explain later, instead focusing on his determination to keep Jackson from pushing him away.

Paddy stopped outside Jackson's room letting Aaron compose himself a little. He could see the apprehension in Aaron's face, the slouch of his shoulders. Paddy knew he was terrified of Jackson leaving; it was something Aaron had become accustomed to in his short life. He played it off like nothing bothered him, but Paddy knew that deep down it hurt. He was always left behind and let down by the people who were meant to love him. Paddy feared that if Jackson left Aaron would crumble.

He watched anxiously as Aaron pushed open the door, holding his breath in a nervous fashion.

"Jay," Aaron said cautiously.

The angry thrashing started again, but Aaron stood his ground.

"Jackson Walsh!" Hazel roared. "Do not push that young man away. If you knew how worried he's been, how upset...you should be ashamed!"

"Darling," she said, adopting a softer tone, "I know you're hurting, and I know you are angry at the world, but Aaron loves you and you love him."

Jackson was taken aback by his mum's sudden outburst, but it was the slap in the face he needed.

"I just want to talk," Aaron told him. "If you still want to be done with me after that I'll go. I promise; whatever you want."

Jackson calmed down, nodding his agreement at Aaron. He watched Hazel walk out of the room, smiling to himself that he had a mum that would fight to the death for him and wasn't afraid to tell him when he was being an idiot. And he was, he wanted nothing more that to wrap his arms around his boyfriend and never let go, but he didn't want him to put his life on hold while he learned everything again.

Aaron sat down next to the bed; reaching out his hand hesitantly he grasped Jackson's. He didn't pull away this time, and a smile crept across Aaron's mouth. Letting out a breath he begin to tell Jackson everything he said while he was in a coma. When he finished he looked deep into Jackson's eyes, they were full of tears, he moved in slowly capturing his lover's lips in a slow, tender kiss. All the pain of earlier washed away.

Breathless they broke apart; Aaron rested his forehead on Jackson's. Reaching up he wiped away some of the tears that were still falling from his boyfriends eyes, letting his hand caress his cheek. Jackson smiled, giving Aaron a look he hoped would convey how sorry he was for hurting him.

"It's alright babe," Aaron told him, "I know why you did it...I would have done the same."

Jackson smiled again; Aaron was slowly becoming an expert at reading him. Still he felt upset, not being able to voice his love or anything for that matter was doing his head in. He wanted to get better, tell Aaron he loved him, tell him that he would gladly spend the rest of his life with him as well. He wanted to be able to hold him without the fear of hurting each other, the hesitation before touching.

Aaron noticed the anguish in Jackson's face, slowly kissing him to make him forget. They were swept up in the moment, not caring that they still had a long way to go before everything was perfect or that there would be more bumps and bruises along the way. Right now all that mattered was that they were alive and together. No more pushing each other away or petty arguments, they had new chance, a new start. It was enough for now.


	10. Chapter 10

The next few weeks had been a whirlwind of tests, physio, visitors...It was never ending and completely overwhelming. He was making progress, having found his voice, though the words were a still a jumble sometimes. At times it seemed like he would never recover, his body too badly injured, his brain as well.

It was Aaron that got the words out of him. He was telling him some inane story about the goings on of the village, a smile playing across his face and happiness in his eyes...something Jackson hadn't seen in ages. He watched the younger man, marveling at the change in him. The quiet calm, the lack of awkwardness as he caressed his hand. He could feel his own smile tug at his lips, the overwhelming feeling of love in his heart. There was no slow build, no confusion of what he wanted to say. He simply looked at Aaron and the words fell from his mouth.

Aaron stopped mid-sentence, not sure if wishful thinking was making him hear things.

"I love you," he heard again. He looked to Jackson, mouth agape. Slowly the realisation hit him, the velvet like voice of his lover wrapping him up, washing away all the uncertainty.

"Jay..." he couldn't think, his mind full of nothing but contentment overshadowing any words. The smile on his face had grown, claiming it with undoubted bliss.

Jackson could feel his heart melt, looking deep into Aaron's eyes, the happiness and wonder in them. He did that. One simple action had given him the Aaron he rarely saw, the one he loves.

"I love you too," Aaron said finally finding the words. He leaned in slowly capturing Jackson's lips is a tender kiss. Passion igniting, lips brushing against each other in a fury of desire, Jackson grasped Aaron's neck pulling him closer. Needing the feel of his lovers mouth against his he licked at Aaron's lips begging entrance.

Their tongues collided in a frenzy of lust, seeking out the other, fighting for control. Lost in passion, unaware of anything around him, there was only Jackson and the feel of his lips, his touch, his longing. The air escaped from his lungs, heart beating rapidly with want, the fear of intimacy an afterthought...he wasn't afraid to touch him or be touched by him anymore, he needed this to feel whole again.

The steady beeping of the machines around him and his overwhelming need for air were the only things that made him pull away. He licked his lips softly, tasting Jackson on them still.

"I was wondering if you two would come up for air?" Aaron started, turning slowly to see Hazel hovering around the door, a slight blush claiming his cheeks.

"Sorry," Aaron murmured, dipping his head a little to hide his red stained cheeks.

"Don't mind me. I know how much you've been wanting to do that. Not very good at hiding things like that are you?" She smiled at him, eyebrows raised suggestively. Aaron could feel the warmth spread on his cheeks again momentarily forgetting the reason for the sudden passion fueled kiss.

"Hello darling," She said, sweeping into the room, handbag on her shoulder and a stack of magazines in her arms. "I've been on the phone with your dad, that man can talk for ages. Couldn't get a word in edgeways...ME? Can you believe that?"

"No," Jackson whispered hoarsely, a small laugh escaping his lips.

Hazel stopped dead in her tracks, the magazines falling unceremoniously from her arms. She stood, mouth hanging open, staring at Jackson for was seemed an eternity; slowly her gaze fell on Aaron and the wide smile on his face. She knew then it wasn't a dream, knew she wouldn't be pulled from this state of happiness, he had really spoken.

"Oh my sweet boy! That is the best sound in the world," she couldn't stave off the tears any longer, they came easily now.

"Did you honestly think _your son_ would never speak again?" Aaron asked, a playful smirk replacing his smile.

"Cheeky," Hazel retorted with a smile.

It was half past 11 when Hazel finally left, her excitement over hearing Jackson's voice never waning. She'd popped in and out continuously, calling Jerry and Paddy to tell them the news, getting endless coffees and lollies; Jackson knew she was nervous, scared even. She was hesitant to leave, fearful that Jackson's voice would fade by morning.

Aaron walked her to the bus stop, wanting to ask her to open up to him, but unsure how to go about it. He still couldn't get his head around being thoughtful to people, even Hazel who had been so good to him over the last few weeks.

"What's up?" he asked in his normal don't care attitude, wincing at the insincerity in his tone.

Luckily Hazel was in a world of her own, his words not registering with her, not pulling her from her thoughts and fears. The fingers snapping in front of her face did the trick.

"Sorry love, did you want something?" she asked, her thought still a million miles away.

"Just wanted to know what you're thinking?" Hazel flashed him a look of bewilderment causing him to roll his eyes in jest.

"You think it will go away don't you? His voice I mean."

"Not just that, but...well, we seem to get good news, a small taste of happiness, then it's followed up with bad. I don't know if I can handle any more bad just now."

"Hey, he's on the mend. Even the doctors say so. He's strong. Kinda had to be huh?"

Hazel nodded, knowing the implication of his words. That was in the past now, Jackson and Jerry were mending fences, trying to carve out some sort of future as father and son.

"Thank you." Hazel whispered quickly, catching sight of her bus rounding the corner.

"You what?" Aaron asked, confusion clouding his face.

"For taking care of our boy, for not giving up, for loving him. Shall I go on?"

Aaron dipped his head, feeling the blush creep across his cheeks. He didn't know how to respond to that, there were no words, he just smiled at Hazel as she pulled him into a hug.

"You really are a wonderful young man, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you, as a son mind, don't want you getting the wrong idea." She said with a wink.

A few weeks ago that comment would have made Aaron cringe inwardly and run as fast as possible in the other direction, but now after everything it made him happy. Without hesitation or a second thought he hugged Hazel again, "I love you too," he whispered.


	11. Chapter 11

_Thanks for all the reviews so far! And sorry for the lack of updates recently, it's almost summer here in New Zealand and I've been at the beach any chance I get! I'm trying to get my inspiration back for this story, so hopefully I will have more updates. Please let me know what you think, good or bad, I read them all! Also, very sad to hear about Gavin Blyth, he made Emmerdale a truly fantastic show. RIP. -a_

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"She's marrying that waster! Can you believe it?" Aaron fumed upon entering Jackson's hospital room. "She has to be off her head, there's no other explanation!"

Aaron dropped heavily into the chair opposite Jackson's bed, his hand seeking out his boyfriends. He sighed loudly, turning to Jackson, noticing his distant stare.

"What's up with you?" Aaron asked, concern beginning to consume him, fear as well.

Jackson didn't speak, he turned away from Aaron, dropping his hand in the process.

"Jay, what's happened?" Still nothing. "You're starting to scare me now," Aaron whispered, his voice breaking with emotion.

He watched the slow shuddering of Jackson's body as he cried, he could tell he was trying to hold it in, not wanting Aaron to see him like this. He had put up a brave front, masked the hurt and uncertainty for everyone, tried to be strong despite everything...but now he was tired. Tired of being the strong one, tired of thinking positive.

"Jackson, please tell me what's happened? Can you talk?" What if he couldn't? What if his voice had gone away like they all feared? What if he never heard his voice again, never heard him say I love you? The thought alone terrified him.

Jackson let out a loud sigh, rolling over to face Aaron he brushed away the last of his tears. His breath caught when he looked at Aaron, his eyes brimming with tears, worry etched onto his face.

"Sorry," Jackson whispered grasping Aaron's hand in his. "Didn't mean to upset you."

"Jay, don't worry about me. What's happened?"

Jackson let a small smile touch his lips, he still couldn't believe how much Aaron had changed over the last few weeks.

"It's my legs. The doctor said they're not healing properly. He said...he..." he took a deep breath, not yet ready to say it out loud. Aaron sensed his apprehension and gently squeezed his hand, running his thumb along his fingers, a small reassuring gesture. Jackson smiled again, a small hollow smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"He said I would need to be in a wheelchair."

"For how long?" Aaron asked, breathing a sigh of relief to himself. A few months in a wheelchair wouldn't be so bad, they could handle it, he could handle it.

Jackson could see the relief in Aaron eyes, he couldn't bear to look at him now. He looked at their intertwined hands, watched the slow movement of Aaron's thumb against his hand.

"Forever," he whispered, not sure if Aaron heard him, not wanting to look up and see the guilt...the pity.

Aaron's thumb stopped moving against his hand, he had heard him. Jackson forced himself to look at him now, he needed to see the unspoken emotions, needed to look into his eyes. They always gave him away, always betrayed the hard man front he put on. There was nothing, they were void of emotion, of anything. He was in shock. Jackson opened his mouth to speak, but the words caught in his throat, not that he knew what to say. That wasn't true, he knew what to say, he had a whole speech prepared before Aaron arrived...then he looked at him, and everything he wanted to say, needed to say, was gone.

"I wouldn't blame you," he started, never taking his eyes from Aaron's. He could see the confusion creep into the blue pools, a flash of anger as well.

"I wouldn't blame you if you left," he finished. "I don't expect you to stay, not now."

Now all he could see was hurt, the confusion and anger an after thought. He never wanted Aaron to hurt, especially because of him, but he didn't want him to feel obligated to stay either. He could have a clean break, no excuses, it would hurt for a bit...well a long time, but in the end it would be best.

"Jackson, don't talk daft! I'm not leaving you...ever."

"I don't want you to stay because you feel you have to. You're 18, you don't need to be tied down to someone who may never walk again."

"Don't talk like that! I don't feel tied down. I want to stay because I love you. If you push me away because of this I don't think I would ever get over it. I can't imagine my life without you, I wouldn't want to have a life without you."

"Aaron, don't. Don't say things like that, you don't know what you want."

"Yes I do." Jackson closed his eyes tightly, willing himself not to cry. He turned away from Aaron, he had to end this, he had to let Aaron go.

"How can you know? You've not experienced life yet. You'll meet someone new and forget about me."

He felt Aaron's hand slip out of his, still he didn't look at him. He would keep his eyes closed until he heard the door slam, then he would break.

The door never slammed, Aaron never moved. He was waiting for Jackson to look at him, and he would wait until he was physically removed from his bedside.

He sat there for 30 minutes, Jackson never looking at him or acknowledging him. Finally, he took Jackson's hand, turning it palm up. Slowly he eased it open, placing a small kiss on his palm, then gently dropped something on top of the kiss before closing his fingers over it.

Jackson turned to look at him now, eyes wide in surprise. He moved his hand slowly, opening it carefully. His heart stopped.

"I'll never leave you," Aaron said to him. "I love you more than I ever knew possible. Please say you won't leave me."

Jackson stared at his hand, he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. A plain platinum band lay there. He picked it up with his other hand, looking at it as if it would disappear, then he noticed it, an inscription on the inside, _forever_. He couldn't hold back the smile or tears of happiness or the overwhelming love in his heart. He felt he could burst from all the emotions he was feeling.

"Aaron...is this...we can't," he said, letting his head overrule his heart once more.

"Why not?"

"Because..." Why couldn't they? His mind was blank, his heart was screaming for him to say that he wouldn't leave, but he couldn't say that. He couldn't trap Aaron, he had to be sensible.

"We haven't been proper together very long, what happens in a year when you get bored? What happens when you start to resent me for forcing you to stay? What if...what if you meet someone else?"

"That won't happen. I'll never meet anyone that could compare to you. I'll never resent you or get bored."

"You can't know that! You can't say these things," his head was spinning now, he opened his mouth to speak again, Aaron needed him to be quiet, to feel instead of think. He placed a small, passion filled kiss on jackson's lips, a kiss full of hope and promise of things to come.

He broke away, resting his forehead on Jackson's.

"Marry me," he whispered.


	12. Chapter 12

"I can think of a hundred reasons to say no."

"Jackson, would you stop thinking! What is your heart telling you? Do you want to know what mine says?" Jackson nodded, quietly hopeful of what Aaron was about to say.

"It says that I would be a complete idiot to let you get away. This is the first time I've ever felt truly happy, truly in love. I never knew that before you. Paddy loves me, and me mum in her own mental way, but your love is the one that makes me a better person..._makes_ me want to be a better person, makes me want to start thinking about a future...our future. Jackson I started falling for you the minute I saw you and I haven't stopped."

Jackson looked at Aaron, really looked at him. He saw the man he always hoped for, after the incident at the Woolie and the court case and every thing else that has been thrown at them he fully expected the typical Aaron response. He thought he would do a runner and leave him to try and mend his broken heart, but now he was a man. A man that Jackson thought would never be.

"Wow. You've never been that honest before."

"I have, only your were in a coma at the time," Aaron replied with a smile.

"Sorry I missed that," Jackson joked lightly.

"Do I get an answer? I'm kinda bricking it over here."

"I love you Aaron." Jackson said, looking at the ring once more. Aaron held his breath in anticipation, hoping that he hadn't scared off the man he loves.

"Yes," Jackson answered, a smile taking over his entire face. "I will marry you!"

Aaron let out a long breath, the smile on his face radiating the pure happiness he felt. He took the ring from Jackson's hand and slipped it on his finger.

"You're sure?" Jackson asked while holding his hand up to marvel at the ring.

"Too right I am! I have never been so sure of anything in my life. You sure?"

Jackson looked once more at the ring, watching it glimmer in the dim light of his hospital room. His head was still screaming to let Aaron go, to be rational, but one look at Aaron and all rationality was gone. He'd never been so happy; even with the possibility of paralysis, the endless months or years of physio, adapting to a new way of living, even with everything bad that has happened. Right now he knew what true happiness was; it was looking into the eyes of the man he loves, the man he would do anything for, seeing him smile at him or give him a cheeky wink, sitting in comfortable silence with their hands interlaced; it was Aaron.

"Yeah, I'm sure...more than sure. I love you so much."

He felt his stomach flip as Aaron leaned in; the kiss was slow, gentle at first...a kiss to show the love shared between the two. It was building into something a little more frenzied, the want coursing through them palpable. Aaron brushed his tongue lightly over Jackson's lips, begging entrance, needing to taste him; Jackson eagerly accepted, gently flicking it with his own. He ran his tongue over the roof of Jackson's mouth, feeling the older man shiver against him. Slowly he pulled away, a sad moan escaping Jackson's lips, quickly replaced with a sharp intake of air as he trailed kisses down his jaw line, feeling the rough beard of his lover against his skin. Moving down to his neck, Aaron gently nipped at the pulse point causing Jackson to moan in pleasure. He could feel the tightening in his pants, knew he needed to stop, but the pull between the two men was overpowering. He put his hand on Jackson's neck, pulling him in for another lust filled kiss; his hand travelled slowly from his neck, caressing over Jackson's shoulders, down his chest. He could feel his heart pounding under his touch. He fingers slid lightly over Jackson's nipple causing him to moan in pleasure, the sound travelling to the back of Aaron's mouth as he thrust his tongue deep into Jackson's mouth. His hand slid lower, finding the waist band of Jackson's pants, he began rubbing his fingers teasingly along Jackson's hip. Slow, feather light touches that elicited pleasurable moans from his boyfriend. He broke the kiss, turning his attention to the spot just above Jackson's collarbone, the one that always caused him to arch up into Aaron, breathing out a soft groan.

He bit at the spot, Jackson reacted as expected, whipsering Aaron's name in ecstasy. He sucked gently, wanting to hear his name again; moving his hand from Jackson's hip down to the soft tuft of hair, lower until...

"Aaron, stop," Jackson whispered breathlessly, throwing his head back into the pillow.

"What...what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Aaron asked, concern clouding his eyes. Slowly he pulled away, afraid to touch Jackson; afraid of hurting him.

The tears were falling now; building up in the chocolate brown pools and spilling over, falling unceremoniously down Jackson's face. He couldn't look at Aaron, couldn't tell him; not now. There was no escape, his tears giving him away. He silently cursed himself for being so soft, so weak. He could have lied, told him that someone could walk in, but his emotions had to betray him.

"Jackson," Aaron said, his voice cracking with sadness, fear. "Talk to me...please. Please Jay." He didn't care that he was pleading, didn't care that he sounded so needy; all he cared about was Jackson and what he needed.

"I...I'm sorry." Jackson sighed, wiping away some of the tears. "It's all a bit overwhelming," he lied. "You didn't hurt me, promise." He forced himself to smile, to put Aaron at ease. He saw him release a long breath, running his hands over his cropped hair.

"I thought I'd hurt you," His voice was shaky as relief washed over him.

"What time is it?" Jackson asked, changing the subject.

"Just after 8, why?"

"The doctor said he would be back around 8 to talk to me about the...ya know...the paralysis."

"Oh. Do you want me to go?"

"No...yes...well not the hospital just the room.., once the doctor gets here."

Aaron nodded, unsure of Jackson's reasoning but not wanting to push it. He would do what he wanted, he would do anything for him.

It was long until the doctor arrived, Aaron making his way to the family room once he entered the room.

"So Jackson, how are we feeling?" The doctor asked as he looked over Jackson's chart.

"Not much," He joked lightly. A small wry smile playing at his lips; a smile that faltered when he noticed his doctor wasn't paying attention. He felt a surge of anger bubbling inside of him, he wanted to reach out and slap the chart from the doctors hands. He laughed inwardly, Aaron was definitely rubbing off on him.

"Actually Doctor Meyers, I'm having a problem."

"Mmm," The doctor said half-heartedly.

"Yeah, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty...well intimate earlier and I couldn't get an erection." Jackson deadpanned.

The doctor sputtered, his head snapping up to look at Jackson, a small triumphant smile on his face.

"Great, now that I have your attention. I was serious, I couldn't feel anything. You never mentioned anything about that when you were talking about paralysis."

"That could be caused by a number of things, most likely one of the medications you are on. It isn't directly linked to the paralysis. We should know more once we start weaning you off the meds. If the problem still persists after the medications are out of your system we will run some tests, find the root of the problem."

Jackson could feel the relief coursing through him. He would be able to feel Aaron, make love to him, it wasn't permanent. The thought of never being with Aaron terrified him, but now...now he could breathe.

"Speaking of the paralysis, I've had a look at the results from the last round of tests. It seems our initial assessment of your injuries was incorrect. The paralysis stems from the injury you sustained from the impact of the dash of the van and sequential puncture wound from the metal framing; the nerves in your legs are severely damaged as a result causing the paralysis, it isn't a spinal injury as we first presumed."

"What are you saying?" Jackson asked, completely overwhelmed by what the doctor was saying, not fulling understanding his meaning.

"The paralysis is only temporary. I can't say how long it will last, but with sufficient physical therapy you should regain full use of your legs."

Jackson felt the weight of the world lift from his shoulders. He let out a long lingering breath, one he didn't realise he'd been holding. He would walk again; he would walk down the aisle when he married Aaron.

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_Sorry for the lack of updates! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed the story so far!_


	13. Chapter 13

He couldn't hold back the tears, he didn't want to. He relished the feeling of them on his cheeks, knowing they were tears of happiness, knowing he could dare to hope for a happy ending. He couldn't wait to see the look on Aaron's face.

"I need to see Aaron," He told the doctor. Nodding, Doctor Meyers stepped outside, instructing a nurse to retrieve Aaron from the family room. It didn't take long to see him sprinting towards him, worry overshadowing his whole being.

"Please, after you," the doctor instructed, holding the door open for Aaron. He wasted no time getting to Jackson's side, wiping away the fallen tears, looking at him in a state of confusion as a smile lit up his eyes.

"I was just explaining to Jackson the nature of his paralysis," the doctor continued. Aaron didn't speak, just nodded his head slightly.

"I'm not going to lie to you, it will be a long and painful road ahead. The physical therapy will be much tougher than what you are currently doing, but in the end you should have full use of your legs."

Jackson looked to Aaron, watched the rush of a million different emotions filter through his blue eyes. In the end it seemed shock was the dominant emotion. He watched as Aaron opened his mouth to speak, the words not coming out; watched as he turned slowly to face him, the tears threatening to fall. Jackson smiled up at him, an unspoken confirmation shared between them. He watched as the smile overtook Aaron's face, and the tears slipped down his cheeks. Jackson wiped them away, letting his thumb caress over the slight stubble of his boyfriend's beard.

"You will still have to be in a wheelchair while you recover, and there will be a carer available should you need one, if only to help you get settled in."

"Settled in?" Jackson asked, finally looking away from the hypnotizing eyes of his lover.

"Ah yes, sorry. After the last tests and definitive answer regarding the paralysis, there really is no need for you to stay longer than you have to. We would like to keep you here tonight, and barring any complications, we will be able to get you on your way tomorrow."

Doctor Meyers excused himself, letting the two men absorb the latest news. They felt like they were dreaming, secretly hopeful for good news, but never speaking it out loud. It seemed like years since they had any good news, anything to celebrate, but now...now they could look forward to their future. It felt amazing...and terrifying.

* * *

Christmas Eve, the first day Jackson would see something besides the same four walls of his hospital room; the first day he could breathe in fresh air, not the stale medicinal hospital smell. He woke up early, despite not being able to sleep the night before; pure excitement was coursing through his veins, his mind spinning with the thoughts of life outside of his current prison. He felt like a kid again, eagerly waiting for Christmas morning.

Doctor Meyers was due around midday for one final check up, the only hurdle between him and

his first taste of freedom. He watched the clock, counted every second until the doctor arrived. His happiness was short lived, his excitement had caused his blood pressure to spike to a slightly alarming level.

"We will need to keep you overnight to monitor your blood pressure," the doctor said, delivering the crushing blow.

Hazel and Aaron pushed open the door, smiles overtaking their faces at the thought of having Jackson home for Christmas. The smiles soon vanished as they saw the dejected look on Jackson's face.

"You're not ready?" Hazel asked, trying to force a hopeful smile. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing," Jackson offered.

"I'm afraid Jackson's blood pressure is too high, we won't be able to release him today."

"But...but everything's ready. I promised he would be home for Christmas!"

"If it lowers I see no reason why he can't go home tomorrow."

"Tomorrow...tomorrow?" Anger seeped into Hazel's voice, she looked fit to explode.

"Hazel..." Aaron called to her, trying to silently calm her. Jackson was upset enough, Aaron could see through the facade of fake smiles and hopeful sentiments, he didn't need Hazel making the situation worse.

"Sorry," Hazel said, excusing herself from the room before she broke down.

It was just after 1 when Aaron and Hazel left, Jackson knew they had things to get on with, but still couldn't stave off the loneliness. He had expected to be in his new home celebrating the holidays, not lying in the same hospital bed. He was sick of it, it had been over 2 months since the accident, but he was stuck.

Visiting time had come and gone and there had been no sign of Aaron or his mum. This only furthered his loneliness. He turned on the telly, watching the images that flashed on the screen but not absorbing them. His mind flickered with images of how he wanted his night to go. He imagined being curled up in bed with Aaron now, watching some Christmas movie or just talking...anything as long as he was with his boyfriend.

He gaze fell to the window over looking the corridor. He watched the nurses pass by, their bright blue uniforms a blur as they bustled along. A grey hoodie caught his attention, it stood out amongst the harsh blue.

"What you doing here?" he asked, confusion and happiness mingling on his face.

"Wasn't going to let you spend Christmas Eve alone was I?" Aaron answered as if it were obvious. "Thought we could watch a dvd."

He placed the disc in the player, pulling up a chair beside Jackson's bed, turning his head slightly he smiled at his lover.

"You could join me?" Jackson patted the space next to him to emphasise his point.

"I won't hurt you will I?"

"Don't be daft, get up here."

A massive smile overtook Aaron's face as he got up from his seat and carefully climbed in bed with Jackson. He moved down the bed until his head rested on Jackson's chest, draping an over over his boyfriends waist he snuggled closer to him.

"I've missed this," he admitted with no trace of embarassment.

"Me too," Jackson sighed contentedly.

They lay like that as the film played, neither paying attention to it. Both were happy to be in each others arms, feeling the love radiate between them, until they drifted off to sleep.

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_Had to write my own take of Xmas Eve, after what could have been an epic scene between the two...it was driving me crazy. Just a sweet little version. -a_


	14. Chapter 14

Christmas and New Year's had come and gone, and Jackson had began to settle back into village life. His third day back he had gone to see Aaron off, he was upset that he'd be left alone for weeks, but he bottled it. The job in Bristol was important and it would do them good to spend some time apart, Aaron hardly left the hospital while Jackson was there and he needed time to himself. He had too much time to think about his upcoming physio, about the possiblities of walking again, and on the odd occasion his mind would drift to the fear he buried deep down...the fear that this was all a dream and he would never walk again. It kept him awake at night, along with nightmares of trains and comas and the sight of Aaron slumped in the passenger seat covered in blood.

He never mentioned the nightmares, he didn't want to appear soft, but the exhaustion was evident on his face. His eyes appeared hollowed, a bluish tint underneath them. He was irritable all the time, snapping at anything and anyone. He managed to convince his mum that it was down to nerves over the physical therapy, and that was mostly true, but it was the crippling fear of falling asleep and being thrust into the nightmares that set him on edge.

The closer he got to the start date of his physio the worse they got. He'd woken up on more than one occasion convinced he was still in the hospital, unable to move at all, unable to speak or do anything for himself. Everytime he wished Aaron had been there to calm him down, to hold him in his arms and take the pain away.

* * *

January 2nd, the first day of his intensive therapy. He would never admit it but he was scared, he put on a brave face for his mum, even cracking the odd joke like the old Jackson. He acted as if it was another day, but it wasn't just another day, it was the a major step in reclaiming his life. Hazel kept telling him everything would be fine, _he _would be fine. A part of him wanted to believe her, to think positive, but he couldn't...he just couldn't.

The first day had been the easiest part, filled with introductions to the pyhsical therapists and a walkthrough of everything he would be doing. It started off like any other session, a massage and working the muscles slowly, a slow transition into the hard graft.

He'd been wrong about the slow transition. The second day had been brutal, there was no easing into anything. He wasn't prepared for the debilitating agony. He assumed that since he couldn't feel anything in his legs that it wouldn't hurt...he couldn't have been more wrong. The PT explained that this method was to shock the nerves and muscles into working, he didn't mention the physical and mental strain, or the toll it would take on the rest of his body.

Three days had past, then four, five...it never got better. He felt ready to break at any moment. He lied to Hazel, telling her things were fine and it wasn't too bad, nothing he couldn't handle. Every day he told her about the progress he was making, and he was making progress, but he left out the fact that he'd been in tears everyday, that he'd never felt so broken in his life. He told the same lies to Aaron when they talked on the phone, never once giving any indication that it was torture for him. Aaron believed him, he had no reason not to.

* * *

It was just after midday when Aaron and Cain returned from Bristol, it had been a long two weeks and Aaron couldn't wait to get away from his uncle. As soon as they pulled up to the garage his door was open and he was out of the car before it came to a complete stop. He walked briskly to Dale Head, ignoring Cain yelling at him to grab his stuff. That could wait, he needed to see Jackson. He wasn't entirely sure if he would be home or at a session, but he took his chances. As soon as he got close to the door he could hear raised voices, a few moments later Hazel had barged past him with tears in her eyes. He thought about calling after to her, make sure she was alright, but a loud crash from inside grabbed his attention. He rushed inside not sure what he would find. There was upturned tables and other small pieces of furniture laying about, books and vases littered the floor. Jackson's wheelchair was on it's side, Aaron looked in horror at his boyfriend laying on the ground, gut wrenching cries coming from him.

"Jackson," Aaron whispered, making his way to him while trying to avoid the broken glass on the floor.

"Go away," he whimpered.

"Jay, what's happened?" He ran his hand along Jackson's back, reaching around to lift him into a sitting position, carefully leaning him against the nearest chair.

Jackson looked into Aaron's eyes, the dam broke, everything he had been feeling the last two weeks came rushing out in a fury of tears. Aaron pulled him close, his own tears falling as he held Jackson close.

He didn't know how much time had passed, he didn't care, he just held onto Jackson.

"I can't do it Aaron, I can't!" he lamented.

"What? What can't you do?" Aaron ran his hand through Jackson's curls down to his cheek, wiping away the tears.

"Therapy, it's too hard. I've tried to be strong, I kept telling myself it would get better, but it hasn't! It's too much for me." He was crying harder again.

"Yes you can Jay. You are the strongest person I know, you can do this."

"I can't! I can't! It hurts too much, _I _hurt too much!"

Aaron didn't know what to say, he honestly believed in Jackson; believed he could get through this, he was much stronger than he knew, much stronger than him. He pulled him closer, hugging him tightly, trying to think of what he could say to help.

"You are so much tougher than me, the way you've dealt with everything so far. I could have never done it."

Jackson scoffed.

"I'll do it with you."

Jackson pulled away slightly, "You would do that for me?"

"I would do anything for you Jackson...anything."

* * *

_Sorry for the morose tone of this chapter, but I wanted to write about the darker side of Jackson's feelings. I don't know anything about physical therapy so I'm making it up as I go along to suit. Thanks for the reviews so far, I really appreciate them. -a_


	15. Chapter 15

Aaron managed to get Jackson off the floor and back into his wheelchair, he even tidied up the place so Hazel wouldn't know what happened. It was at Jackson's request, even though Aaron told him to be honest with Hazel, but he couldn't bring himself to admit that he'd broken down not to his mum. She had praised him for being so strong, for dealing with everything in such a calm and sensible manner. He had her fooled, he had everyone fooled, everyone except Aaron. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't lie to him. It was no problem doing it over the phone, but once he looked into those blue eyes he couldn't do it.

There was something about those eyes that had drawn him in, probably because they were the only way Jackson could gauge Aaron's real feelings. Even that time in the Woolie when he punched him he saw the sorrow in his eyes, and at the courts he could see the hurt and the silent apology. He had planned on keeping up pretenses, keep lying about how he was feeling; all that changed when he looked at Aaron. He couldn't lie to him after he'd been so open and honest about his feelings, they promised not to bottle things up. So he told him, he allowed him to help him off the floor, allowed him to comfort him and take care of him.

"Can you go find mum?" he asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had descended upon them as he watched Aaron tidy up the mess he made.

"Yeah," he said, placing a small kiss on his boyfriends lips. "Won't be long."

He didn't have to go far at all, he spotted Hazel as soon as he stepped out the back door. His eyebrows almost met his hairline as he saw the scene in front of him...Cain comforting Hazel, Cain placing a reassuring hand on Hazel's back, Cain getting her another brew to keep her warm. Aaron felt like he stepped into a parallel universe, he backed away slowly not wanting to disrupt what was going on. He pushed the door open, almost tripping over his own feet as he made his way back inside.

"You find her?" Jackson asked, pulling a face at Aaron's demeanour.

"Uh...yeah," he said, looking in the direction of the garage, a bewildered look on his face.

"Well, where is she?"

"At the garage...with Cain. It was, well, it was weird. He was being all human, like with feelings and all."

"You're lying..."

"See for yourself," he said, pushing Jackson to the window overlooking the garage. It was like Aaron said. Jackson's face mirrored that of Aaron's. They looked at each other before bursting into a fit of giggles, a definite improvement from the melancholy of earlier.

"Think we'll leave them be for now. Don't think Cain would want us to know he has a heart. Come on, I'm taking you for a pint."

* * *

It was late when they came back from the Woolie, so late that Hazel had made her way to bed. Jackson hadn't meant to stay out so long, he wanted to apologise to his mum for his behaviour, but they were having such a good time that he didn't want to leave. At one point he was about to tell Aaron he was ready to go, but Aaron had leaned in and kissed him. He was taken aback, he had never done that in the village before, at least not where they could be seen. He couldn't stop the smile, he didn't want to, that was a big deal for Aaron, but he didn't make a point of mentioning it. He just smiled at him and leaned in for another kiss, one Aaron happily reciprocated.

He had a good time, despite the stares and hushed chatter around him. It annoyed him, but he was too caught up in Aaron and his story about the trip to Bristol to care. It felt like old times.

Aaron helped Jackson settle into bed before removing his trainers and sitting along side of him. He wanted to join him, hold him, make love to him. There were limits, he knew that, but it didn't stop him wanting Jackson, fantisising about touching him and being touched by him. The last time they tried at the hospital had thrown him. He never pushed for the real reason Jackson broke down, he didn't want to put any pressure on him, but it hurt him that he didn't tell him the truth.

"Aaron," Jackson nudged him, "where did you go?"

"Sorry, just thinking."

"Ooh, dangerous," he smirked. "'Bout what?"

"You, me...the usual." He blushed slightly.

"Summat dodgy." It was a statement, not a question. "I know you want to, I do too...it's just, I'm not sure I can."

"What do you mean?"

"Like last time, I didn't...I couldn't...not cause I didn't want you, I did believe me. It's the meds or something, not sure, but I can't ya know."

Aaron looked at him in confusion, he didn't quite understand what Jackson was trying to say. Jackson saw this and gestured to his groin, giving Aaron a look to drive the point home.

"Oh! You could have said at the hospital."

"It's embarassing."

"Jackson, I love you, you can tell me anything. I won't judge you or laugh at you ever."

"I know. God, I feel like such a muppet."

"Yeah, well you're my muppet." He leaned in and captured Jackson's lips in a kiss, a chaste kiss that quickly ignited into passion.

Reluctantly he pulled away. Kisses like that always left him wanting more, he didn't want to push it. He was content laying with Jackson in his arms.

* * *

They awoke early the next morning, Aaron called Cain to let him know he would be a few hours late. As expected Cain went off on one, he let him rant and once he finished he calmly explained that he was taking Jackson to physical therapy and would be staying with him until he finished. Cain stumbled his way through an almost apology before barking down the phone that Aaron owed him and hanging up. Aaron laughed to himself, Cain was obviously not used to being nice.

"Right, what do you want to wear?" He asked upon entering the room. Jackson didn't answer. "Jay?"

Aaron walked around the bed, Jackson was crying.

"Hey, hey, what's up?"

"I can't go Aaron, I can't do it anymore. Please don't make me go."

The doctor had told them it would be hard, but he never expected it to be this hard on Jackson. His heart broke for him. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to wrap Jackson in his arms and protect him from everything that could hurt him; this treatment was supposed to make him better, but it was making him miserable. He wanted to tell him he didn't have to go, that they could stay home today and be together, do nothing; but he couldn't do that, he had to go, he had to make him go.

"I know this is hard Jay, but you're doing great. You've made it this far, and I'll be right there with you remember?"

Jackson nodded, but still cried, he didn't want Aaron to see him like that...but he needed him there. Aaron wiped away the tears, brushing a small kiss to Jackson's lips before getting him dressed for the day.

Jackson was tense the whole drive, he tried to push it from his mind but there was no escape. He wasn't ready to face another round of therapy, he wasn't ready for Aaron to see him break. They were early for his appointment, he hated waiting, he just wanted it over with.

"Could you grab me a coffee?" He asked Aaron, pulling him away from his magazine.

"Yeah, no worries." He walked out of the waiting area, leaving Jackson alone. He gave it a few seconds, once he knew Aaron was gone he left. He felt like a coward for running, but he couldn't do it anymore.

"They didn't have any milk...Jackson?" Realising he's been tricked he pulled out his phone and dialed Hazel.

"Hazel, Jackson's gone. He did a runner."

Aaron walked out of the treatment centre to flag down a taxi, then he saw him. He was looking at Aaron, saw the relief was over him, then a glint of something else, not quite anger but close.

"Flipping heck Jackson, you bout gave me a bloody heart attack! What were you thinking?"

Jackson couldn't hold back the anger, "I was thinking that I'm tired of everyone pushing me to do what they want! I'm tired of doing the physio and breaking down because it hurts too much and not getting anything out of it! I was thinking that you of all people would understand because you supposedly love me!"

Aaron was hurt by that last comment, how could Jackson think he didn't love him. Jackson regretted saying it, but he was too fed up now. He was waiting for Aaron to go on the offensive, he was ready for a fight.

"I do love you Jackson. If you want to go we'll go."

Jackson hadn't expected that, Aaron wasn't known for staying calm when someone was having a go at him. "Really?"

"Yes, but you have to go in and tell them why you aren't going to do it."

"You what?"

"I mean it Jay, you go in there and tell your therapists. Tell them that you would rather stay in that wheelchair the rest of your life instead of suffering through this, tell them you don't want to walk down the aisle when we get married, tell them that it's too much. Go on."

"You're honestly guilt tripping me? Seriously? Why don't you go in there and try it out, _then _tell me I can do it, tell me that it's not too much."

"I was going to do it! With you! And I'll do it every single day if it means you will too. You don't have to do this alone Jackson, I am here and I'm not going anywhere. End of!"

Jackson smiled despite himself, he loved that Aaron would fight for him, fight with him to make him see sense.

"Alright, no need to give it the big drama," He smiled up at Aaron who rolled his eyes but smiled all the same. "Let's go then."


	16. Chapter 16

Aaron had been true to his word, he'd been to every physio appointment with Jackson, done every exercise, held him after while he cried through the pain. In the end it had all been worth it; watching Jackson take his first step and watching the smile that lit up his face, to see the joy in his eyes. He'd been so overcome with happiness watching Jackson, he'd never felt such pride; he wrapped him in his arms, kissing him with all the love he felt. They were both crying at the end of it, neither caring who saw, they were in their own world.

After that day Jackson didn't dread physio, he wanted to go. He had his moments of doubt, days where he physically couldn't take more than one step, days where he hurt too much to move; but Aaron was always there, his strength when he had none, encouraging him and loving him.

It was their one year anniversary, Jackson had planned a night out, a small gesture to thank Aaron for sticking with him. He knew it had been hard on him, and it didn't help that Jackson pushed him away when he couldn't cope, but he never gave up on them, _on him_, and Jackson was grateful.

He told Aaron to meet him at the Woolie at half six, from there they would go to dinner and maybe drinks at Bar West. He also mentioned a surprise, and no matter how many times Aaron begged he kept tight lipped. He wanted everything to be perfect, he even wore Aaron's favourite red checkered shirt. Jackson thought of it as his lucky shirt, he had worn it the first time they met and that was a truly lucky day, even if Aaron did bolt out of the door. It was the beginning of them, even through all the bad they had come out the other side, they had survivied.

* * *

Aaron had been early to the Woolpack, he knew Hazel would be there and he wanted to hit her up for info on Jackson's surprise. He hated surprises.

"One pint and a glass of white please Diane."

"White?" The confusion on her face was almost comical, Aaron refrained from laughing at her, he needed that wine.

"It's for the mother-in-law," he said with a wink.

"Ah, what have you done?"

Aaron rolled his eyes, everyone always assumed the worst. "I need information if you must know."

"Mmm, and you think by plying her with alcohol she'll just cave and tell you all you need to know?"

"Well yeah actually...why?"

"Might want something better than the house standard then." She said, giving him a knowing smile.

"You're good. Fine, something more expensive. Just not too much eh, don't want to spend all my money on this."

Diane fetched one of the better wines, filling the glass almost to the top, "That's a one off, but I think you might need it."

"Cheers," he said, grabbing the drinks.

He made his way over to Hazel's table, setting the wine down before taking the seat opposite her.

"I must be dreaming. Did Aaron Livesy just buy me a glass of wine?" Her eyes were wide with shock, but there was a smirk on her face to let him know she was joking.

He spent the next half hour trying everything he could to get Hazel to fess up, she kept telling him she had no clue what he was talking about.

"All he said was to be here at 6:30 and to make sure you were here as well. That's it, job done."

"And you weren't the slightest bit curious?"

"Of course not," She lied. Aaron looked at her, waited for her to admit the truth. "Oh alright, I've been working on him for the better part of a week, but that boy will not talk! It'd be easier to steal the crown jewels than get a secret out of him."

That was true, Jackson had an uncanny ability to keep secrets. It was very annoying. He gave up trying to get answers from Hazel, instead they tried to work out what the secret could be. They tossed around all sorts of ideas, scoffing at Bob's suggestion that maybe he was pregnant, but couldn't figure it out.

"Maybe he," Aaron started, his eyes falling to the door of the Woolpack, to Jackson, "oh my god..."

He stood up, knocking his chair over as he quickly made his way to Jackson. He could barely see through the tears.

"Jay..." That was all he could get out, everything else was trapped in his throat. He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump that had formed. He was dreaming, he had to be.

Jackson _walking _into the Woolpack, no wheelchair in sight, only aided by a cane. He had been with him through the physio, he had made progress, he had taken a few steps, but he had never walked.

"How?" His brain was working in slow motion, trying to comprehend the sight in front of him.

"The carer, Joe, he was a physical therapist. We've been working together for months while you were at work. I wanted to surprise you."

Aaron could here the hushed whispers behind him, he could hear the sobs coming from Hazel, but in that moment there was nothing else but Jackson. He had a million different things he wanted to say all swirling around his head, he couldn't focus on any one, he was in too much of a daze. He slipped his arms around Jackson's waist, forgetting how tall he was and how good it felt to have him in his arms properly. He felt the stinging warmth of his tears as they fell unheeded down his face; he felt the gentle caress of Jackson's hand as he wiped them away; he felt the soft pressure as Jackson placed a kiss on his lips. Reality slipped away, they were in a world where nothing else existed; nothing but them. Nothing but the feel of body against body, lips upon lips, the magnetic pull as they enveloped each other.

Jackson pulled away, breathless and shaking, "Home now," was all he got out before lips crashed together once more.


End file.
